Brian's (Still) Just Guessing

How many times have I started a blog? Maybe not as many times as I think, but it feels like a lot. Maybe that's just because I've started, stopped, started, and stopped so many times.

About 7 years ago, I came up with the idea to start a blog called Brian's Just Guessing. I think I wrote two posts, one of which was the intro post. I want to start blogging again, maybe in addition to podcasting. I'm not too proud to tell you all ("all," like there are a lot of people reading) that I have no idea what I'm doing. In life. Faith. Relationships. So many things. 

I found out a couple years ago that I have OCD, which explains so much about my life. I specifically deal with issues related to contamination and religion. I also have trouble focusing on things I want to do, or figuring out if something feels "right" to do. I don't even know if this is right, it doesn't really feel like it. 

I'm just guessing again.

I don't know if this blog will last, or if there will be a podcast with it. I want to start working with video. I'm thinking of doing video podcasts to help me with that. I don't know if it'll happen, or how long it will last if it does happen.

I am guessing. I am going through life every day trying to get through it. I do my best with the religious OCD (actually called scrupulosity, by the way), but it is really tough. To me, it's kind of harder than the contamination stuff. Germs at least feel more tangible than faith, even though you can't see either. 

I'm trying to make small moves forward in life, but they're so small. I need to move forward. 

So, I'm just guessing. 

Still.